You have this dream, and in your dream your life is fast-forwarded 15-20 years from now and this is you – a wife, 2 kids, financially doing okay. YEAH, it is even obvious to everyone that you have the perfect life.

But to you, you’re so bored. So bored cuz you know something is missing.

You think about how pissed you are now about your perfect life, then you think back in time and you remember when you met the woman you are now married to.

 Maybe you met her at a club or in a restaurant or even at a mall but now u can’t remember.  But you can remember that it was her figure and pretty face that drew her to you and it is vivid how you “swagged” up your lives clubbing, going for shows and beach parties, how you two patronized every eatery in town, how u drank down your sorrows and how much she blew your brains out with her crazy “bedmatics”.

 –But of course you are bored with that too–

 You remember when you realized it was time for u to be a man and settle down, and you settle down with your well-endowed beautiful girlfriend (of course u remember you didn’t have any other options.)

 You remember the first few awesome years of your married life, but then it didn’t bother you that u couldn’t have any meaningful intelligent conversation with this pretty woman that won’t divert into some ‘swag’ talk. Like you want to discuss something as meaningful as what to invest in (what do you even expect her to know about investment anyway?) and all you hear is “honey, do u know that I have lost 5 pounds this week?” or she’d tell u how great she is doing in her yoga class, which is great for your sex lives and of course she got some new tactics to show u – Life’s good!

 You remember how she put more effort into the physical appearance of your two little girls decorating them with beads and lipsticks and latest fads instead of helping them discover where their true beauty lies but it didn’t occur to you then that she might just be training up beautiful club girls who may not appreciate the ugliness in “beauty without brains.”

 You remember when you told her that the Boko Haram group are killing a lot of innocent people for no apparent reason and asked her what she thought about it and then to your utter disbelief she says “may God never allow them to leave Iraq and come to Nigeria” Then you told her that President Goodluck Jonathan wanted to remove the fuel subsidy on petroleum products in Nigeria and was shocked when she asked you whether Subsidy is the Petroleum minister and what did he do this time? Then she will remind you that you’re wasting time on things that doesn’t make sense instead of having fun, that u two need to go clubbing, that you need to swag up your lives like old times after all “You Only Live Once.”

                                                 —Yeah Right! Y.O.L.O!!!–

 Now you’re 45 and the sex is no more as impressive as before, now you crave something more, you crave for someone to share a higher level of experience with. You long to wake up to someone and have some intelligent discussion cum academic argument without having to hear “baby we have lost our swag” or some other ridiculous stuff. You now understand the meaning of someone being interesting and smart and right now u can do anything for your woman to be just that. You wish you can replace “Swag” with “Smart.”

 You realize you need someone that the content of her thoughts arouses your mind, someone you can make love to her mind and not just her body.

Beauty fades, that perfect shape will sag, and your happiness will largely depend on how smart and interesting your partner is. And it’s everyone’s responsibility now to make sure he or she is interesting whether you’re single or in a relationship.

Doe Zantamata said “You can’t expect to have a deep relationship with a shallow person.


¤ Spy-catcher.™


One thought on “DUMB IS NEVER CUTE

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