HOW THE FACEBOOK VIRUS AFFECTS YOUR LIFE

ImageI read from somewhere the other day that Facebook is the most depressing social networking website and I couldn’t help but agree and why is that?

Because Facebook peeps post beautiful pictures (with hidden broken smiles) of their life events and make updates on the wonders that their God is doing for them which drives you to begin to make depressing comparisons between the quality of your life with their lives.

How many times do you get to see your close (now prolly former) friend’s status updates read  “engaged”, or the usual heartbreaking wedding invites and worse still “married” while you are still finding it difficult to get your “boyfriend” to agree that you both are in a relationship? Yeah, that cheating bastard!

Quite depressing isn’t it?

You read that your former best friend is working in a top law firm in Lagos and earning a 6 figure sum per annum while the other is with Chevron living his dream while you are still coasting with life. And the bitter truth is that without Facebook, you might not get to know these things that somehow mess with your happiness.

For example:

Latest updates from your course mate Akpos (I still hate Akpos in real life tho) the other day says “make una thank God for me for blessing me with a brand new car. Hard work really pays.”Hard work really pays? No wonder Adamu’s barrow pushing business is paying him a lot.

Like WTF, I just left the university with this dude last year

and my bank account is still a major liability to the bank.

And you were happy for him albeit with mixed feelings because it led you to start over thinking and cussing your God for creating you to be lazier than Akpos when you in fact are actually doing the best you can.

Then Johnny came with his own update, a lovely picture of him French kissing his fiancee “promising” his friends on Facebook that he must get married to her come June next year because she is the sweetest chic alive. Or is it Caro who is displaying pictures of her 2nd child while your ovaries are angrily bloating you with cramps every month? Hmmmm!

Then you sulk and remember that you are still a virgin and probably will be till (you die?) because you are too busy trekking all over the streets of Lagos looking for that goddam elusive job.

Don’t worry, you won’t die a virgin, life is already screwing you.

I am certain some of us can relate to these. And I want you to know that you don’t feel so because you are inherently a bad person who is not happy for his fellow, it’s because we are human and it is hard to not feel that way when things are not going great for us. Nevertheless, be happy for them still and always wish them better.

You might be going through a devastating early life crisis now while they are apparently directed people. You are feeling lost now yeah? But they might go through what you are going through later in life and by then it will be much more complicated, because they will have much more responsibilities then and because no one can predict who is gonna suffer mid-life crisis later.

Facebook can really be depressing and my biggest letdown is the realization that almost everyone is faking it on here and that no one actually has their shit together at any giving point in time despite the glossy pictures and exaggerated updates you see.

Trust me; run into them someday, you will be shocked to know their true story

So don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind… life is a journey and it’s a long one and in the end, it is only with yourself.

This is James, I am a Lawyer and that’s all about it. If my Facebook updates contribute to your depression, remember that it is all a ruse because I am also having an early life crisis.

Thank you.

PS: the names in this article have been changed to avoid kidnapping and subsequent torture of the subjects for posting wonderfully annoying photos and updates

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